Tulio

Let's be Gods, the perks are great
El Dorado on a plate
Local feelings should not be rebuffed

It's tough to be a god
Tread where mortals have not trod
Be defied when really you're a sham
Be an object of devotion
Be the subject of psalms
It's a terrifying notion
All those prayers and those salaams
Any normal man would bridle if he's forced to be an idol
And a normal man's exactly what I am

It's Tough to Be a God
John


Tulio is one of the heroes in The Road to El Dorado (2000).

Tulio is the taller, thinner of the pair of cons in this film, thinks much more with his brain and less with his heart (to a point), and is the schemer while Miguel is the dreamer. Check out Miguel's page for more information on this film. Tulio tries to keep Miguel's crazy ideas in check, and has to try and keep them out of trouble (and get them out of trouble when they land in it), but can't help but be interested when the team actually stumbles on the legendary city of gold, El Dorado. Tulio continually instructs Miguel to think before he does anything, but shows an unusual impulsive side when the sultry El Dorado native Chel seduces him, not only to help Miguel escape his watchful eye, but also because of the attraction she feels to him. Chel helps Tulio and Miguel keep up their charade with the natives of El Dorado, but the bloodthirsty speaker for the gods, Tzekel-Kan, realizes that the men are mere mortals, and tries to destroy them for their con. Miguel and Tulio defeat him, but when they hear that he has survived and is leading Cortez to El Dorado to expose the city and their con, they guys and Chel make a plan to block the entrance of El Dorado, in the process destroying the boat they had loaded with all the gold they could. Tulio realizes that the people of El Dorado are more important than the riches he lied to acquire, and helps to protect them forever. Chel, Miguel, Tulio and their horse, Altivo, run into the sunset together, ready for their next conquest.

Tulio is voiced by accomplished actor Kevin Kline (who can also be heard as Phoebus).


Tulio falls to the sass and seduction of the voluptuous El Dorado native, Chel.
Tulio's major villain is the bloodthirsty Tzekel-Kan, but also has serious bouts with Cortez, and even his best friend and partner, Miguel.
And what about Tulio?

At first, it's easy to write off Tulio as a shallow cad with only cash and hormones on his mind, but upon deeper inspection, it becomes clear that Tulio actually progresses into a likeable and admirable character. He ends up giving up the very thing that matters most to him at the outset, to save the people that he has come to respect and admire. He doesn't have the bond that Miguel has, but he understands how they live, and how they respect and love each other. His feelings for Chel start as shallow and meaningless, but grow to a more substantial relationship. Of course, the film leaves their relationship open for further development, and it would be interesting to imagine where it would lead next. As far as the film goes, you can read my further thoughts on Miguel's page, but I will say that this is a classic buddy/road/comedy film, and it stands as an excellent example of any one of these. Tulio and Miguel's friendship is really believable and interesting, and they fight like a lot of friends do, but also manage to resolve their problems and forgive each other, which is a very powerful message. The animation is excellent, as is Dreamworks's legacy (limited as its 2D repertoire may be), and the look of the film is just amazing. At times, the screen literally glitters. It's a really good movie, and unfortunately doesn't get the attention it deserves.



Pictures of the Schemer


Quotes from Tulio

Tulio: I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death. (Grabs tiny dagger, looks at it) But not with that.

Miguel: You fight like my sister!
Tulio: I've fought your sister. That's a compliment.

Miguel: It really is the map to El Dorado!
Tulio: You drank the sea water, didn't you?

(Miguel and Tulio are stranded in the boat, together with Altivo)
Miguel: Tulio, did you ever imagine it would end like this?
Tulio: The horse is a surprise...
Miguel: Any... regrets?
Tulio: Besides dying? Yeah. I never... had enough... gold.
Miguel: My regret, besides dying, is... our greatest is over before it began, and no one will even remember us.
Tulio: Well, if it's any consolation, Miguel, you... made my life... an adventure.
Miguel: And if it's any consolation, Tulio, you made my life... rich.
Miguel: Did you ever imagine it would end like this?
Tulio: The horse is a surprise.

Miguel: Oh, come on!
Tulio: I'm not coming on!

Tulio: Well it's not a pry bar

Tulio: Miguel, he's a ruthless war-horse, not a poodle!

Tulio: Come on, baby! Papa needs that crappy map!

Tulio: What's happening here?
Miguel: We're both in barrels - that's the extent of my knowledge.

Miguel: Look! The map to El Dorado! This could be our destiny! Our fate!
Tulio: Miguel, if I believed in fate, I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice.

(preparing to get dressed, while Chel sits in full view)
Tulio: Do you mind?
Chel: No.

Tulio: All right. Here's the plan. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... one of those longboats... and then, we... row back to Spain like there's no manana!
Miguel: (pauses) Back to Spain, yeah?
Tulio: Yeah.
Miguel: (uncertainly) In... a rowboat.
Tulio: Yeah!
Miguel: (sarcastically) Great. Sensational. That's your plan, is it?
Tulio: That's... pretty much it, yeah.
Miguel: (delighted) Well, I like it! So, how do we get on deck?
Tulio: (pauses, deep breath) In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... longboats...

Tulio: Holy Ship!

Tulio: You're buying your own con!
Miguel: Well at least I'm not dating mine.

Miguel: Tulio you worry too much
Tulio: No, I worry the exact right amount, you can never worry too much

(after seeing a skeleton on the beach)
Tulio: All in favor of getting back in the boat, say aye.

Chel: Oh, then I suppose you'll be wanting these back?
(produces dice in her hand)
Tulio: (pats pockets, shocked) Hey... how'd you get those?
Miguel: (raising eyebrows) WHERE was she KEEPING them?


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